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10 Oct 2009 13:40

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Offbeat: Will someone think of the guinea pigs? They need rescue, too

In L.A., there’s a rescue group for guinea pigs. Because, well, someone needs to protect them from becoming … uh, guinea pigs. source
Posted by Ernie Smith • 0 Comments • Permalink

09 Oct 2009 12:22

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Offbeat: Protip: Grow a mustache, earn a little more money

  • +8.2% bigger incomes than those with beards, which kind of ticks us off source
Posted by Ernie Smith • 1 Comment • Permalink

08 Oct 2009 22:28

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Offbeat: Kid wastes his life learning how to play the accordion really well

  • Just think, if this kid learned how to be a virtuoso on an instrument we actually cared about, we’d probably be impressed. Instead, we’re just bewildered.source
Posted by Ernie Smith • 0 Comments • Permalink

07 Oct 2009 10:37

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Offbeat: Erectile dysfunction lawsuit jokes hard for us to pass up

  • $9 million awarded to guy who kept it up for far too long source
Posted by Ernie Smith • 0 Comments • Permalink

05 Oct 2009 10:45

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Offbeat: We Gon Rock: Meet Boostalk, the worst rapper we’ve ever seen

  • We’re convinced the kid has a strong Canadian accent. Listen to the way he says “rock.” And lest you be convinced that a kid like that can get a girl like that, watch this video. And we thought Chuggo was bad (note NSFW language and imagery at that link).source
Posted by Ernie Smith • 2 Comments • Permalink

05 Oct 2009 10:39

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Offbeat: Hey baby, want to see my Jesus tattoo?

  • Only in Florida … In Fort Walton Beach, Fla., a man with a Jesus tattoo was arrested for exposing himself to a woman. The 33-year-old, also sporting tattoos of praying hands and demonic goblins, thought he knew the woman, but when he realized he didn’t, he exposed himself. Because that’s clearly what you do in that sort of situation. source
Posted by Ernie Smith • 0 Comments • Permalink

03 Oct 2009 03:02

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Offbeat: A multitasking bra: Gas masks have never come in DD cups before

gasmaskbra1003
  • Whoever invented this is a freaking genius. The Annals of Improbable Research organization says so. They gave it a Nobel Prize. It’s a bra designed to be worn on the face in case someone farts. We think.source
Posted by Ernie Smith • 0 Comments • Permalink
 

02 Oct 2009 23:04

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Offbeat: Bring me Ted Williams’ severed head … so I can open a can of tuna

  • Ahahahahahahahahahahaha. Best story ever. It’s been a while since we’ve heard some #^!((& stuff that makes us glad to be alive. And thanks to this story about malpractice at the Alcor cryogenics lab that has the head of Ted Williams, we have it. According to a whistleblower, these guys reportedly:
    1. Took his head off with zero medical knowledge.
    2. Tried to remove a can of tuna stuck to the frozen head.
    3. Used Williams’ head for batting practice. Wow. WOW. source
Posted by Ernie Smith • 0 Comments • Permalink

02 Oct 2009 15:43

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Offbeat: Kraft’s Vegemite renaming plan, iSnack 2.0, fails like an old iPod

  • The name came from a land down under. Kraft Foods learned an interesting lesson recently: You probably shouldn’t name iconic Australian food after trendy tech products, because it makes you look not “with it.” So, iSnack 2.0, a Vegemite-plus-cheese plan which sounded like a good idea for about half a minute, will get renamed yet again. Vote here, because we know you care that much. source
Posted by Ernie Smith • 0 Comments • Permalink

02 Oct 2009 13:48

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Offbeat: Texas a trailblazer in the realm of gay divorces

  • Texas is a state fairly far down the line for legalizing gay marriage. It’s not like those East Coast states where you can do all willy-nilly. In fact, it’s illegal. source
  • However, a judge recently agreed to care a divorce case for a married out-of-state gay couple. Best part? The state attorney general is having a hissy fit. source
Posted by Ernie Smith • 0 Comments • Permalink
 
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