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20 Aug 2009 22:25

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Sports: Usain Bolt: Breaking records like we break chairs (’cause we’re fat)

  • 19.19 seconds in the 200m; show off source

20 Aug 2009 21:20

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Sports: NFL star Plaxico Burress is going to jail after pleading guilty

  • 2 years in the clink for one accidentally fired gun in da club source

20 Aug 2009 10:42

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Sports: NCAA crushing dreams: Memphis’ 2007-2008 season is now a wash

  • 38 victories by the Wildcats will be forfeited after major rule violations were discovered under coach John Calipari source

18 Aug 2009 22:21

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Sports: A sampling of how sports columnists are taking Favre’s return

Brett Favre

We know, we know. We can't stand Brett Favre's return to the Minnesota Vikings, either. Which is why seeing columnists and bloggers freaking out about it totally amuses us. Here's a sampling.
  • S.F. Chronicle Gwen Knapp puts it best: “Favre’s fickle approach to retirement is an embarrassment that should follow him forever.”
  • S.F. Chronicle Gwen Knapp puts it best: “Favre’s fickle approach to retirement is an embarrassment that should follow him forever.”
  • Washington Post We agree: “I know they’ll never say it on the record so I’ll say it for Tarvaris Jackson and Sage Rosenfels: Brett Favre is a jackass.”
  • S.F. Chronicle Gwen Knapp puts it best: “Favre’s fickle approach to retirement is an embarrassment that should follow him forever.”
  • Washington Post We agree: “I know they’ll never say it on the record so I’ll say it for Tarvaris Jackson and Sage Rosenfels: Brett Favre is a jackass.”
  • Jay Mariotti Brett made his bed: “All right, Brett Favre. All right, you maddening flip-flopper and hopeless egomaniac. You asked for it.”

18 Aug 2009 11:29

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Sports: Dear Brett Favre: Stay Retired. For the love of God. Stay retired.

  • This story makes us want to hurt things. Stay retired. No contract talks man. No anonymous sources. Stay retired. #(&6^ or get off the pot. Don’t jump back on. Stay retired. source

18 Aug 2009 10:21

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Sports: The Washington Nationals actually signed their big prospect!

  • $15.1 million to have Stephen Strasburg lob fastballs source

16 Aug 2009 23:04

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Sports: Stephon Marbury: Eh, I’m not signed. Guess I’ll smoke pot

  • I’m not under contract … I smoke weed occasionally. … I’m not driving … I’m following the rules.
  • Former New York Knick Stephon Marbury • Discussing (on camera because he’s an idiot) how he’s keeping on the straight and narrow now that he’s an unsigned NBA player. Marbury’s reputation took a tumble after he stunk up the room and angered his teammates as a Knick, and other teams are wary of signing him due to this rep. We’re sure the admission, no matter how noble, won’t help his chances. • source
 

16 Aug 2009 21:33

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Sports: Usain Bolt lives up to his speedy record-breaking name once again

  • 9.58 seconds to run the 100 meters today; not bad, brah source

16 Aug 2009 21:22

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Sports: HOLY CRAP! Tiger Woods lost in the final round of a major

  • Y.E. Yang is the first Asian to win a major. The PGA Championship had some pretty impressive final-round fireworks, thanks to the showdown between Woods and Yang, the kind of showdown Woods usually wins by accident. Except he didn’t win this time, breaking his final-round streak. Maybe the media will learn not to be so biased in favor of Woods now that he’s had a year without a major. source

16 Aug 2009 09:57

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Sports: PGA Championship: Tiger Woods has statistics in his favor

  • 14 final-round major leads; he’s never lost when he’s winning that far in source