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12 Feb 2009 10:49

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Offbeat: Tip: If you commit arson, don’t sing about it

  • She’s singing a different tune now. Amanda Gessner, 19, set off a bunch of trash fires in a Philadelphia suburb, and was spotted in a convenience store singing a little ditty about her deed. A sample verse: “The fire department is going to be mad at me.” Idiot. source
Posted by Ernie Smith • 0 Comments • Permalink

12 Feb 2009 10:36

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Offbeat, U.S.: Las Vegas mayor: Obama owes us an apology

  • That’s outrageous… He owes us a retraction. What’s a better place, as I say, than for them to come here? And to change their mind and to go someplace else and to cancel and at the suggestion of the president of the United States — that’s outrageous.
  • Oscar Goodman • Democratic mayor of Las Vegas, on a recent comment by Barack Obama regarding banks using bailout money to take corporate trips to the city • source
Posted by Ernie Smith • 0 Comments • Permalink

11 Feb 2009 21:58

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Offbeat, U.S.: This congressman has been in office for-freakin’-ever

  • 53 years and two months for elderly Rep. John Dingell, D-MI source
Posted by Ernie Smith • 0 Comments • Permalink

11 Feb 2009 10:16

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Offbeat: Doesn’t this ad pitch want to make you drink this?

  • Don’t worry, it won’t smell like urine and will be tasty too.
  • Om Prakash • A man from India who’s helping to create a beverage out of cow urine that should be on the market by the end of the year. Eww, we’ll take the crab juice. • source
Posted by Ernie Smith • 0 Comments • Permalink

10 Feb 2009 22:15

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Biz, Offbeat: Pepsi absurdly overthought their rebranding campaign

Yes, they compared the freaking logo to a planet. They paid money for this? source
Posted by Ernie Smith • 8 Comments • Permalink

10 Feb 2009 20:33

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Offbeat: You a farmer? Sow your seed on the singles market

  • Because finding the farmer’s daughter is tough. There are niche dating sites for Christians, fat people and emo kids. So why shouldn’t there be one for people who wake up early to run the tractor and make sure their crop isn’t ruined? That’s the theory behind Farmers Only, your best chance at creating your own American Gothic. It’s led to a bunch of marriages and possibly a little making out behind the barn. source
Posted by Ernie Smith • 0 Comments • Permalink

10 Feb 2009 10:42

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Offbeat: Hot girls in violent pillow fights? Sign us up!

It’s like roller derby, except at a slumber party. We’ll be in the audience for sure. source
Posted by Ernie Smith • 0 Comments • Permalink
 

08 Feb 2009 21:24

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Offbeat: Tip: When in the Witness Protection Program, don’t beat guys up.

  • Divorced from the mob Joey Calco, 40, used to be a contract killer for the Bonanno family, but then he became a snitch. As a result of this, he had to hide his identity so as not to get hit on himself. So he joined the Witness Protection Program. Yousee? source
  • Divorced from the mob Joey Calco, 40, used to be a contract killer for the Bonanno family, but then he became a snitch. As a result of this, he had to hide his identity so as not to get hit on himself. So he joined the Witness Protection Program. Yousee?
  • An argument over calzones Calco, hiding out in Florida working at a pizza joint, screwed up a calzone order. He got so irate that he attacked the two men involved. He got charged with battery, sued and then his identity came out in the press. Idiot. source
Posted by Ernie Smith • 2 Comments • Permalink

08 Feb 2009 21:14

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Offbeat, U.S.: What bothers people about McMansions? They’re too tall.

  • Somebody did a study on this. Not a parody one, either. Ohio State University, that school we love to hate (we’re from Michigan, OK?) did a study on the proliferation of McMansions, those really nice-looking standardized houses that have started cropping up in exurbs across the country. Most participants in the study said they didn’t mind the giant houses – as long as they didn’t stick out like a sore thumb, lording over the neighborhood like a castle. Personally, we think they’re perfect for Jesusland. source
Posted by Ernie Smith • 0 Comments • Permalink

08 Feb 2009 10:40

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Offbeat, U.S.: The FDA’s got your goat; it makes your medicine

They just approved gene-altered goats for drug-making. That’s baahhhhdass. source
Posted by Ernie Smith • 0 Comments • Permalink
 
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