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22 Jan 2010 10:40

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Offbeat: Some hotel/motel/Holiday Inn employee willing to jump in your bed

  • It’s the company’s new human-bed-warming service. When we at the hotel/motel/Holiday Inn, sometimes we get a little cold before tucking in. Fortunately, they have that covered. Someone will jump into your bed in a onesie, lay around, and get the bed warm for you. “The new Holiday Inn bed warmers service is a bit like having a giant hot water bottle in your bed,” the company’s spokeswoman Jane Bednall noted. Can they keep us company, too? We get lonely in hotel rooms sometimes. source

20 Jan 2010 01:35

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Culture: Leno/Conan: Taiwan makes another 3d animation of a U.S. scandal

  • The second they turn into superheroes is when it starts getting good. Jeff Zucker is portrayed exactly like the kind of jerk he should be, and Coco is shown with a gaggle of supporters. Awesome.

19 Jan 2010 11:18

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Offbeat: Put a box of wine in a microwave, and watch the sparks fly

  • Well, that certainly lived up to the billing. We were actually thinking of testing this ourselves, but then we realized it might just be a stupid idea. In fact, it’d be downright fermented.

15 Jan 2010 09:01

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Offbeat: The rocket fuel of NASA’s astronauts: White, powdery cocaine?

Apparently, a small supply of coke was found in the hangar for NASA’s Discovery. We’re currently singing the lyrics to Elton John’s “Rocket Man.” source

14 Jan 2010 12:30

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Offbeat: Arrest us: We currently have our “Pants on the Ground”

  • This is the greatest viral video by a crazy guy ever created. We would argue it’s the greatest viral video ever created, but we don’t want to build it up too quickly. It has everything. Even a very good dose of late-era “American Idol.”

13 Jan 2010 23:15

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Offbeat: Legal male prostitute has way too high of an opinion of himself

  • It’s just the same as when Rosa Parks decided to sit at the front instead of the back. She was proclaiming her rights as a disadvantaged, African-American older woman. And I’m doing the same.
  • Shady Lady Ranch employee “Markus” • On his new job as a “gigolo” (since he doesn’t want to be called a prostitute). Yes, because legal prostitution is exactly the same thing as civil disobedience. Remember right before Parks died, she sued Outkast for naming a song after her? Can we bring her back to life so she can do the same thing to this guy? Because he totally deserves it. source

11 Jan 2010 13:34

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11 Jan 2010 10:58

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Offbeat: Meet the dumbest, time-suckingest machine ever made, guys

  • We admit that this machine would probably keep us busy for a few hours. Totally.

11 Jan 2010 09:39

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Offbeat: Creepy people, shut-ins impressed by Roxxxy the Sex Robot

We know that girl just barely got her head in there, but if we cut any lower we risked showing Roxxxy the Sex Robot sitting in an unladylike position. Sorry. source

09 Jan 2010 15:11

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Offbeat: In Vietnam, Google’s there when you need it most

For some reason, you can buy Google-brand toilet paper in Vietnam. The virgin pulp paper does the job better than its competitors because it’s well-engineered. source