• NO you heathens will have to get civil unions instead source

• NO NO NO NO NO. You cannot skip airport security to make out with your girlfriend. Your girlfriend might be the hottest girl in the world, but it’s back of the line for you if you really want to expose your feelings (or yourself, which you can’t do in the airport, either). Who’s worse in this situation? The TSA, who greatly overreacted because of some incident at another airport recently, or the guy who wanted to give his lady a little lovin’? We vote the TSA. They make a good, sturdy, punchable punching bag. source

• There was certainly some consideration by several of Brown’s ministers yesterday over whether or not to back him. In the end, none of them wanted to wield the knife. But yes, of course, this is further damaging to Gordon Brown.
• University of Liverpool political department head Jonathan Tonge • Regarding the fate of British Prime Minister Gordon Brown, who barely survived a revolt by his own party this week. Some of his own staff barely even gave him any love. The ultra-unpopular Labor Party member fended off a couple of senior party members asking for a vote to get him out of office, and likely faces a worse fate from the British public in June elections. Remember how the last guy, Tony Blair, also left in a firestorm of controversy from his own Labor Party? Yeah. Just sayin’. Seems like a trend at this point. source

• A lot of rumors are going around about Jay Leno’s fate today. TMZ is reporting that Jay Leno – who we think is as funny as watching Dennis Miller analyze an NFL game – could get his old time slot back, at a severe cost to Conan O’Brien, who won the gig over five years ago, only to see NBC pull the trap door from under him with their Leno antics. So, how did we get here?

2004: Conan’s early confidence bet

• what? NBC, in a show of confidence for a guy they’d shown little love to in the ’90s, gives Conan O’Brien “The Tonight Show” slot – five years in advance.
• why? Because the last time they handed out “The Tonight Show” slot, they also screwed it up. Heir apparent David Letterman went to CBS. He still hates Leno.
• later … Later, Jimmy Fallon was tapped for the “Late Night” slot vacated by Conan. “Saturday Night Live” creator Lorne Michaels wanted him since ’04. source

November 2008: Uh, we’re not so sure …

• Jay’s new time Instead of ditching Leno like everyone expected, NBC announced months before the switch-over that they were keeping Leno on in a 10 p.m. slot, effectively stealing Conan O’Brien’s thunder.
• Why? Economics.A late-night talk show is cheaper to produce than a high-quality drama like “E.R.” or “Law and Order,” so NBC execs thought they could ride a wave of low ratings through the recession. source

September 2009: The reviews! The reviews!

• ‘The Jay Leno Show’ is of course not the ‘brand-new hour of comedy’ its promos claim; it is brand-old to the bone.
• Slate reviewer Troy Patterson • On Jay Leno’s first night. Like most reviewers, he disliked “The Jay Leno Show” due to the fact that it was exactly the same routine as his boring schtick on “The Tonight Show.” Leno got lucky, though, by grilling Kanye West immediately after his VMAs incident, which created pretty much the best moment on the show, ever. It was all downhill from there. source
  

Late 2009: That didn’t work out so well …

• 18 million viewers watched the first episode of “Leno”

• 53% the decline in Leno’s ratings on the fourth night – that was fast source
• 1.5 the ratings threshold Leno was given for the show to remain profitable
• 1.6 Leno’s average ratings since starting the show in September – which NBC execs expected

Late 2009: Residual effects

• D-F the grade local affiliates gave Leno as a lead-in to their local news broadcasts; it had a direct effect on their ratings source
• 47% drop in Conan’s ratings a month after Leno took over the 10 p.m. slot; he regularly gets trumped by Letterman now source

• Oh, and show-producers were pissed, too. One show in particular, “Southland,” nearly died as a result of “The Jay Leno Show,” due to the number of slots the show took up. (It later found a home on TNT, and goes back on the air this month.) Show creator John Wells, who also worked on “E.R.,” said at the time his show was canceled, “I wish NBC and Jay Leno well; personally, he’s a very nice guy, but I hope he falls flat on his face and we get five dramas back.” Ouch! (But we totally agree with him.) source

Early 2010: So, what’s next?

• olympics On February 1, the Winter Olympics hit NBC, completely blowing up their schedule and conveniently giving them a chance to give low-rated Leno a break.
• later? Word on the street is that Leno will be losing his spot and going after the local news; Conan would likely come after, then Fallon, and maybe Carson Daly at like 3 or so. source

• Are the “Good Old Days” gone? In response to Fox News talking heads going on about how we’ve lost our innocence, “The Daily Show’s” John Oliver tried looking for said innocence, and wasn’t able to find it. Decade by decade, he found that it was just as bad. Freaking hilarious. Depressing. And awesome. All at once, guys.

• not doctor Megan Fox has been suggesting in recent interviews to drink vinegar to cleanse the system and lose weight. It sounds friggin’ stupid.
• doctor Dietician Lucy Jones: “The body, including the liver, is a well-oiled detoxing machine, which will not be improved by vinegar.” source

• 8% of DNA in human beings comes from a virus source

• We know what happened, we know what didn’t happen, and we know how to fix it. That should be an encouraging aspect. We don’t have to reinvent anything to make sure it doesn’t happen again.
• National security adviser James Jones • Regarding the soon-to-be-released security report. The report, out today, will note that a lot of things were missed. And they need to fix them. “That’s two strikes,” said Jones, regarding the Fort Hood shooting and the Underwear Bomber. source

• “They’re all white. All of them, every single one of them is white.” Chris Matthews is a wee bit obsessed with the race of the Tea Partiers, noting that he doesn’t see a single non-white person in the mix. It’s a line begging for rebuke. And wouldn’t you look at that! There’s a couple black tea partiers, right on cue! source

• obvious In case you haven’t heard, there’s been a lot of activity around airline security lately. Everyone is on their Ps & Qs. Security is on the up.
• idiotic You’re a random guy, and you start shouting on a plane that you’re Palestinian and you “want to kill all the Jews.” It’s taser time! source