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26 Sep 2009 10:52

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Offbeat: An Italian guy actually outdid the “1,000 animals in one home” story

  • 1,700 critters in one car, including 1,000 terrapins source

25 Sep 2009 22:48

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Offbeat, Tech: Bad idea: The world’s loudest alarm clock

  • This hacker needs to be shot for inventing such an annoying device. But on the plus side, it did wake us up. We had fallen asleep at the keyboard.source

25 Sep 2009 19:17

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Offbeat: This is the biggest number we’ve ever posted on the site

1,784 billion, trillion dollars
  • Some guy named Dalton Chiscolm with a lot of pent-up anger against Bank of America sued the financial giants for this amount of money. We wonder what size bills he would like that in.source

24 Sep 2009 10:30

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Offbeat: Dear sick bastards, please don’t duct tape cats. It’s sick.

The sad part is that this photo SCREAMS internet meme. Which is depressing because it’s really just terrible animal cruelty. source

23 Sep 2009 11:01

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Offbeat: One drug raid turns into nine hours of “Wii Bowling”

  • We’re imagining the cops involved in the previous story we posted doing this. 1,100 police officers each taking turns playing Wii Bowling after they got done arresting the members of the Avenues gang. Man, wouldn’t that be a massive waste of police resources?source

20 Sep 2009 21:11

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Offbeat: Cocaine isn’t candy, as one stupid criminal quickly learned

  • A Newark guy hides cocaine in his son’s coat (idiot), saying it was candy (o_O) and then sends the kid to daycare (YOU MORON!) source
  • The 4-year-old does exactly what you’d expect a 4-year-old with candy would do: He handed it out. Three were hospitalized. source

20 Sep 2009 12:08

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Offbeat: This story has all of the elements of scandal you could ever want

  • What it has an ex-stripper
    a priest
    a baby
    source
  • What it has an ex-stripper
    a priest
    a baby
  • What it doesn’t have celibacy
    DNA tests
    a happy ending
    source
  • What it has an ex-stripper
    a priest
    a baby
  • What it doesn’t have celibacy
    DNA tests
    a happy ending
  • The end result a restraining order
    time off
    SCANDAL!
    source
 

20 Sep 2009 02:55

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Offbeat, World: Told ya: Egypt’s regretting killing its pigs in a swine flu scare

We told you not to do it. Now you have a major trash problem that goats can’t solve. If you think the trash is bad, wait for the locusts, guys. source

19 Sep 2009 22:55

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Offbeat: The most dramatic “grandpa tackles robber” video we’ll post tonight

  • Good God. Gramps is limber. He just came up from behind the guy and completely took him out. His secretary friend got in an impressively useless little kick towards the end of the video, but she does nothing to steal his thunder.source

18 Sep 2009 22:33

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Offbeat: The most believable congregation in history doesn’t congregate

  • The Calvary Nudist Baptist Church isn’t real. Mark Johnson, how could you lie to us! Your referencing of biblical passages to promote the idea of free-flowing nudity in church services was funny, and we believed it was real (in the way that one believes the tooth fairy is real). So, Tyler, Texas, your claim to fame remains … being known as the “Rose Capital of America.” But you could have been so much more … naked. (Thanks to Darren Benson for the protip.) source