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20 Dec 2011 00:33

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U.S.: FBI report: Violent crimes continue sharp decline in 2011

  • 8.6% decline in arson cases in the first half of 2011, according to an FBI report
  • 7.7% decline in robberies in the same period; other metrics also fell source
  • » A downward trend continues: When the FBI compared the first half of 2010 to the first half of 2011, they found that violent crimes were down in quite a number of categories, including murder, rape and aggrivated assault. Why has crime been in a downward trend? It could be due to “tougher laws, better policing and an aging population.” That’s right, guys: Our cultural old age is (possibly) causing a drop in crime.
Posted by samimain • 0 Comments • Permalink

08 Sep 2011 10:12

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Offbeat: Gumby wannabe robber: This guy’s headed to the Pokey

  • Gumby attempted a robbery, you guys. Put away your Etch-A-Sketches and your Stretch Armstrongs, boys and girls. Childhood is over. In the San Diego area, a man dressed in a Gumby costume tried to rob a convenience store; he left with nothing, but there’s a $1,000 reward for info related to his eventual capture. Police are taking the matter seriously, however; we know we wouldn’t be able to do so. source
Posted by samimain • 0 Comments • Permalink

31 Dec 2010 19:52

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U.S.: Texas bank hostage situation ends without a hitch

  • Hey, suspects who held this bank hostage for hours: Guess what the army of police officers did when they finally caught you. That’s right, they Chased you out of there! Ha ha ha ha ha, we’re so clever, we’ve been saving that one up for hours. By the way, one hostage was minorly injured but the suspects were caught and every other hostage (including the one above) was safe, with some released while the incident was still taking place. source
Posted by Ernie Smith • 0 Comments • Permalink

31 Dec 2010 16:55

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U.S.: Texas bank robbery: Thirty officers for every hostage inside

  • one gunman holding up a Texas bank
  • two hostages are inside with the gunman
  • 60 officers outside; don’t screw this up source
Posted by Ernie Smith • 0 Comments • Permalink

22 Dec 2010 09:30

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Biz: Kinda like burglary: Are banks unjustly breaking into homes?

This lady right here, Mimi Ash, had all of her possessions in this vacation home thrown out and taken away by Bank of America. Including her dead husband’s ashes. Yeah. source
Posted by Ernie Smith • 0 Comments • Permalink

18 Aug 2010 00:04

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U.S.: Stupid punk iPad robbery/amputation suspect fails at plotting hits

  • awful The suspect in a Colorado iPad robbery, Brandon Darnell Smith, apparently pulled so hard that he ripped the victim’s pinky to the bone, later causing it to be amputated. the Which is unspeakably awful.
  • dumb Smith, who’s been in jail ever since, tried to send a letter to a friend ordering a hit on the victim. “I really need this otherwise it’s a wrap!! If you do this, case is dropped,” he wrote. That’s not how the criminal system works, idiot. source
Posted by Ernie Smith • 0 Comments • Permalink

20 Apr 2010 23:49

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Culture: Quick advice to Kal Penn on braving the streets of D.C.

  • first Don’t walk around 15th & S NW by yourself at 1:30 a.m. on a weekday. During the day that area’s OK, but at night … it’s not super-safe.
  • second You should work this robbery at gunpoint subplot into the next Harold and Kumar movie. Just a thought from us at SFB. source
Posted by Ernie Smith • 2 Comments • Permalink
 

25 Mar 2010 09:50

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Offbeat: Stupid robber calls ahead, gives bank time to prepare for arrest

  • I’ve heard of drive-up robberies where they rob the bank via drive-up windows. But I’ve never had somebody call ahead and say, ‘Get the money, we’re coming.’
  • Fairfield, Connecticut, Police Department Det. Lt. Michael Gagner • Regarding one of the stupidest bank robbers ever. Yesterday afternoon, the People’s Bank of Fairfield got a call demanding $100,000 or threatening a bloodbath. Unfortunately, they didn’t realize that they gave the bank ample time to call the police. Albert Bailey and a juvenile have been charged in the robbery. source
Posted by Ernie Smith • 0 Comments • Permalink

06 Mar 2010 13:07

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Offbeat: Protip: Before robbing a bank, make sure you can get inside

  • dumb Guy decides it’s a great idea to rob a bank on a Friday morning, and gets all of his pieces together.
  • dumber Guy doesn’t realize the bank is a drive-thru-only bank, with plenty of customers waiting in line. source
Posted by Ernie Smith • 0 Comments • Permalink

18 Feb 2010 10:28

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Tech: Dear staff of PleaseRobMe: You’re an accomplice in our robberies, OK?

  • Yeah, we get the point, guys. Geolocation is bad because it leaves your location open for people to take advantage of. But when Julius goes out tonight wearing a ski mask and preying on the poor residents of Dupont Circle who play FourSquare just a little too well, we’re going to want someone to hold the bag. We’re not going down for our crimes without taking someone else down with us! And, well, you’re it! source
Posted by Ernie Smith • 0 Comments • Permalink
 
 
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