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03 Jan 2011 11:16


U.S.: Another huge chunk of the animal kingdom dies in Arkansas

  • If it was from a pollutant, it would have affected all of the fish, not just drum fish.
  • Arkansas Game and Fish Commission spokesperson Keith Stephens • Regarding the mysterious deaths of as many as hundreds of thousands of fish in the Arkansas River, which follows up the mysterious deaths of thousands of birds at the end of last week. So, we think we know which state Springfield is in, guys. source

25 Nov 2010 09:32


U.S.: It’s Thanksgiving! Why are you jerks still on the Internet?

  • OK, guys … we’re going to take some time away from the never ending grind of finding short stuff to post about, and appreciate Thanksgiving the way it was meant to be enjoyed – with a giant lump of tofu in place of a bird that we singlehandedly killed with our bare hands. We suggest you do the same. The internet will be here tomorrow, friends. (Photo by JacobMetcalf) source

24 Jul 2010 23:57


Music: Free joke setup: Kings of Leon forced offstage by bird poop

  • Jared (Followill) was hit several times during the first two songs. … It’s not only disgusting — it’s a toxic health hazard. They really tried to hang in there.
  • Vector Management rep Andy Mendelsohn • Regarding Kings of Leon’s decision to leave the stage … because birds (specifically pigeons) were pooping on them. We’re not making this up. Let’s just say that the very manly band behind such hits as “Molly’s Chambers” and “Sex on Fire” can’t handle a little bird poop, and therefore had to leave the stage and piss off several thousand fans. In their defense, though, they knew the opening bands were forced to deal with it and tried to go on anyway, making it through just three songs, despite Followill’s status as a germophobe. We bet Led Zeppelin played through worse. source

04 Feb 2010 10:50


Offbeat: These birds know how to rock, if somewhat unintentionally

  • Let’s place a bunch of random birds in a room with a couple of Les Paul guitars, and see what happens. And what happened was avant-garde goodness that some might find just a little amazing. BBC art critic Will Gompertz compares the style of artist Celeste Boursier-Mougenot, who created this, to Marcel Duchamp, in that it adds chance as a factor in the music’s creation. The result? For more than the birds. source

06 May 2009 01:20


Offbeat: If you had 14 live birds, wouldn’t you attach them to your socks?

Well, that’s one way to attempt to smuggle contraband through an airport security check. FAIL. source

15 Jan 2009 22:26


Tech, U.S.: Oh yeah, Twitter was on the plane crash scene first

Just as the plane hit the water, one Twitter user was on the scene first. source

15 Jan 2009 22:17


U.S.: On the plus side, nobody died in the plane crash

  • 155 people got out of the floating plane safely source

15 Jan 2009 22:13


U.S.: That plane crash today? Caused by birds. It’s not uncommon.

  • 486 planes have been downed by bird collisions since 2000
  • 166 bird collisions led to emergency landings source