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08 Dec 2011 23:14


U.S.: Texas food stamp tragedy: Awful in more ways than one

  • tragic On Monday, a mother in Texas shot her two children before killing herself. She died at the scene of the shooting. The children later died in the hospital — the daughter on Wednesday, the son Thursday. Just two hours before the shooting, daughter Ramie Grimmer updated her Facebook status to say: “may die 2day.”
  • more tragic Rachelle Grimmer killed her children in a food stamp office, after being denied food stamps on multiple occasions. She had been trying to apply since July but had been unable to do so, due to paperwork issues. The family was extremely poor and had been visited by Child Protective Services twice over neglect issues. source

28 Dec 2010 10:57


Biz: Consumers bought more this Christmas, but not feeling confident

  • good Consumers bought more stuff in the week before Christmas than they did a year earlier – a solid 4.8-percent jump. It’s a great holiday season overall for retail.
  • bad However, consumer confidence managed to fall in December, suggesting that we still in fact have a long way to go before we’re back to normal, guys. source

25 Dec 2010 10:32


25 Dec 2010 10:25


World: The Pope’s Christmas wish: Peace in the Middle East (of course!)

  • May the light of Christmas shine forth anew in the Land where Jesus was born, and inspire Israelis and Palestinians to strive for a just and peaceful co-existence.
  • Pope Benedict XVI • Expressing hope for the Israel-Palestinian conflict’s resolution during his Christmas Day mass. He suggested the same for Somalia, Darfur and the Ivory Coast. Merry Christmas, bro. You’ve had as tough a year as any of us have had, what with all those scandals you’ve had to deal with lately. source

23 Dec 2010 02:28


U.S.: We’re on our way to Hawaii to stalk Mr. Barack “what lame duck?” Obama

  • OK, not to be jerks to you guys, but we think we’ve put in a pretty good year of blogging. And, well, Obama’s in Hawaii, and Hawaii’s gonna be warm but rainy all weekend. In other words, perfect stalking weather. We want to follow the president along with his family and learn the truth … is Obama in fact Muslim? When he goes to open up presents under his palm tree on Christmas day, will there be a star on top of that palm tree? Or a crescent? The Coast Guard is watching out for people like us, but we’re watching out for people like the Coast Guard. Plus, we have hundreds of thousands of dollars to throw around! We can totally pay their $32,000 fine! Plus, Julius is a robot without any feelings! We don’t care if he goes to jail! (But seriously, this is a long way to say that we’ll be taking it easy for a few days, with fewer posts. Because we want to go to Hawaii to stalk Obama. That’s right! See you this weekend, Sasha and Malia!) source

16 Dec 2010 11:01


Politics: Jim DeMint pulls the “it’s Christmas” card to block legislation

  • We shouldn’t be jamming a major arms control treaty up against Christmas; it’s sacrilegious and disrespectful. What’s going on here is just wrong. This is the most sacred holiday for Christians. They did the same thing last year – they kept everybody here until [Christmas Eve] to force something down everybody’s throat. I think Americans are sick of this.
  • Sen. Jim DeMint • Saying a pretty douchey thing about doing his freaking job. So, to clarify … the GOP stonewalls the Democrats in the Senate the entire year, forcing legislation and judicial nominees from getting passed or even debated, and Jim here is all upset because they’re trying to actually get stuff passed while they still have some control of Congress? Yeah, you’re not a jerk. Perhaps you would enjoy your Christmas holiday more if YOU DIDN’T ACT LIKE A JERK THE REST OF THE YEAR. Don’t like it? Deal with it. Seriously, this is the most pathetic reasoning we’ve seen for any political ploy this year. Mind you, it’s December. source

25 Nov 2010 09:32


U.S.: It’s Thanksgiving! Why are you jerks still on the Internet?

  • OK, guys … we’re going to take some time away from the never ending grind of finding short stuff to post about, and appreciate Thanksgiving the way it was meant to be enjoyed – with a giant lump of tofu in place of a bird that we singlehandedly killed with our bare hands. We suggest you do the same. The internet will be here tomorrow, friends. (Photo by JacobMetcalf) source

14 Jan 2010 09:48


Biz: Retail unexpectedly sucked last month; jobs sucked last week

  • -0.3% decline in retail sales in December; a growth of 0.5% was expected during the holidays
  • +11,000 increase in jobess claims last week; it wasn’t supposed to be quite that high source

28 Dec 2009 22:21


Offbeat: A cheeky Santa obesity study fooled a ton of major news outlets

The best part about this story is that it’s a hilarious example of how something gets published everywhere quickly. Even better? We didn’t post it. Hooray! source

29 Nov 2009 01:11


Biz: Black Friday sales mostly flat, but with silver lining online

  • +0.5% increase in sales this Black Friday, compared to last year
  • +35% increase in Black Friday Web purchases from last year source