• 97 Linkletter’s age when the genial variety host died today

• first “People are Funny,” which may be the most obviously-named show in the history of television. Try harder.
• second “House Party,” which featured the obviously-named “Kids Say the Darndest Things” sketches. source

• Greyson Chance is the first signee on Ellen’s new label. Two weeks ago, the preteen Web sensation was made into an even bigger Web sensation by the hand of Ellen Degeneres, who put the Gaga-mimicking singer on the phone with Lady Gaga. Now he’s on Ellen’s new label, eleveneleven. We hope it’s a failure. Sorry Ellen. source

• If you’ve ever used the internet, you could’ve seen this coming from a while away. After House Republicans launched a site looking for democratic input on their new agenda, the site got overloaded with comments that perhaps didn’t show the GOP’s decision-making process in the best light. A few samples to nosh on:

• one“Require all Muslims in the U.S. to wear ankle bracelet transponders so we know where the terrorists are at all times.”
• two“Consensual bestiality should not be illegal. No, I am not joking. Everything I’ve said is logically sound.”
• three “End the idea of Net Neutrality. American’s do not need the government censoring our websites for us.”

And the best answer goes to …

• We need to train an army of Ninja Cats. Cats are natural born hunters and predators, and it is known that they indeed have 9 lives, many more than the typical human life (being one).
• An absolute genius • Saying everything that needs to be said about this endeavor. It’s absolutely perfect in its conceit – the world needs stronger counter-terror measures, and how much stronger could you get than ninja cats? You know, seriously. source

• Now we are not going to stop drilling in the Gulf tomorrow, folks. Let’s be realistic. There are 48,000 wells out there. One of them went sour. About 30 percent of our transportation fuel comes from the Gulf. You think Americans are going to suddenly stop driving to work tomorrow? Do you think people are going to stop driving the trucks to deliver the goods to the department stores? Not going to happen.
• Sen. John Kerry • Pointing out the ugly truth about the oil spill, which is that, put into perspective, we really need to be offshore drilling to keep up with energy demands. Put THAT in your pipe and smoke it, crazy dreaming environmentalists. That dream of yours? It’s in a pipe. A pipe distributing oil. source

• We don’t care about the end of “American Idol.” We ESPECIALLY don’t care about Simon Cowell leaving the series. So if you care about stupid things like that, feel free to see the bajillions of tweets going through this post. But we won’t be listening. Maybe if one of the contestants sang Deerhunter.

• I took a pretty amazing life and amazing success and marriage … and threw it away by my own hands.
• Jesse “I threw away an amazing life with Sandra Bullock” James • Apologizing for throwing away an amazing life with Sandra Bullock. Really, he’s so sorry he threw that life away with Sandra Bullock. He just can’t believe he did that, and now he’s really sorry about it. He’s all apologies about the whole “throwing away an amazing life with Sandra Bullock” thing. He’s sorry. What more do you want from him? He threw away an amazing life with Sandra Bullock. Sor-ry! if you can’t see that he’s really sorry about it. source

 
• What the app has: A five-dollar price tag, an innovative approach, and a really cool design.
• What the app doesn’t have: Flash. Adobe had to recode the entire app for Conde Nast after Apple changed their rules. Probably not cheap at all. But worth it. source

• 225 and not a single warhead more, kids source