• Everything we expected, and less. Tiger Woods’ airtight public relations machine wanted to make sure nothing fell apart in his statement, and, yeah, it didn’t. But we also learned that they’ve learned nothing from this situation and are treating it just like everything else since the scandal broke. Leave your boy airtight guys. Let’s see how much it helps his rep. Here’s a recap and analysis of what he said:

Key phrase from the statement

• I ask you to find room in your heart to one day believe in me again.
• Tiger Woods • At the end of his public statement, which was perhaps the least-riveting piece of live TV we’ve ever seen. The lack of excitement on Woods’ face was visible – and then some. After he said this, he hugged his mom, who also looked very unhappy to be there. He didn’t veer off the script one bit.

Five things we learned from the statement:

• 1st The press has been stalking his wife and kids; that’s not nice, paparazzi!
• 2nd He could return to golf as soon as this year, but maybe not. It’s up in the air.
• 3rd He doesn’t plan to bring up his many mistresses by name, based on today.
• 4th Elin Nordegren didn’t hit him, apparently, as famously thought. He flatly denied it.
• 5th Tiger is still a Buddhist, but he fell away from his religion over the last few years.

Three things to take from this statement:

• Tiger’s PR still sucks This was such a controlled event that you could tell Woods would’ve snapped like a twig if he turned the wrong way. The lack of questions from the press is complete bull. His handlers are handling him way too tightly, leaving no room at all.
• nothing’s gonna change “These are issues between a husband and a wife.” Woods isn’t going to let go of his privacy after the mea culpa, which is a huge mistake on his part, because it means these questions will continue to dog him forever.
• Mobile mea culpa We watched this statement live from our iPhone using the CNN app and it allowed us to live-tweet the story with little trouble. Our society is in a great place if we can watch a man’s life fall apart live on a mobile phone. source

• I cannot stress how strongly our board felt that this should be open to all media and also for the opportunity to question Woods. The position, simply put, is all or none. This is a major story of international scope. To limit the ability of journalists to attend, listen, see and question Woods goes against the grain of everything we believe.
• Golf Writers’ Association of America president Vartan Kupelian • Regarding this morning’s Tiger Woods press conference, which we plan to cover the crap out of in a few minutes. He isn’t allowing questions, he’s controlling the flow of information, and he’s really hurting his cause. Tiger’s handling of the whole situation is pretty deplorable, we think, from a PR standpoint. The timing – during the Olympics – is suspect. source

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  “Strengthen the system” Obama’s Deputy National Security Adviser, John Brennan, made his round on the Sunday talk shows this morning, backing up Janet Napolitano while saying that everyone would be held accountable for their jobs. David Gregory doesn’t soft-pedal when talking him, and Brennan hits him back at every beat. Properly.
• Good Point, Bob “Face the Nation” host Bob Schieffer notes the reason why Napolitano got bit in the rear end last week – simply put, she tried putting a spin on an issue and failed. “It’s not lying,” he says, “but it’s not exactly the whole truth, and certainly not the whole story.” It’s the danger of the echo chamber, friends.
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  Tiger’s faith? WTF, man? On “Fox News Sunday,” Brit Hume beats on the Tiger Woods drum again, this time attacking the fact that Woods is reportedly Buddhist. He says that Woods should convert to Christianity. We say Brit’s a bigot. We also say Bill Kristol is hilarious in following him up by simply saying Tiger will win the Masters.

• image Tiger Woods went from being seen as a golden boy to a &*^#-up in short order. Just like AT&T, thanks to the iPhone fiasco.
• coverage Unlike AT&T, you can’t get away from Tiger Woods network coverage. Just sayin’. Also, AT&T shouldn’t be dropping things. source

• 20 straight days of Tiger Woods front pages; nice golf score source

• Everywhere I go these days, people who know what I do for a living keep asking the same question: Did you have any idea this was going on? I smile and sheepishly shake my head: No, I did not, never even a whiff.
• Washington Post golf writer Leonard Shapiro • Discussing how the golf press missed the Tiger Woods story pretty badly. Why’s that? Simply put, they rarely dealt with him off the golf course, and when they did, it was during carefully vetted 10-minute interviews. Shapiro asked his industry colleagues if they had a hint of Woods’ private life, and none of them did. Surprising, to say the least, especially since these were the guys that put Woods on a pedestal all these years. source

• The Tiger gossip is replete with moral messages and motivations that are compelling, instructive and powerful. Moral guidance can often sound like a collection of tired bromides when expressed in the abstract. But when told as part of a compelling drama—as gossip—it can appear as an eloquent demarcation of good behavior.
• Wall Street Journal columnist Nicholas DiFonzo • In an article defending gossip’s usefulness in the media. He’s says that why much gossip can be ugly, sometimes it can teach lessons to outsiders. Woods’ situation is especially messy – the cheater passed off as the wholesome family man, the do-no-wrong sports figure doing lots of wrong – but it makes the lessons stronger. source