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08 Jul 2011 15:44

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Offbeat: Gorilla vs. Banana: Guess who won. (Hint: Someone slipped.)

  • This is the best story ever. And it involves a guy in a gorilla costume getting tackled by another guy in a banana costume. And a 911 call. And a manager who looks like he’s phsyched about the free publicity the incident just gave his store. And a gorilla. And a banana. And this line: “The kid was in mid-air, flying. He just looked like a Spartan from that movie ‘300,’ except he was a banana.” (h/t ProducerMatthew) source
Posted by Ernie Smith • 0 Comments • Permalink

05 Jul 2011 16:25

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Offbeat: Main claims discrimination over his pinball wizardry

  • 40 lawsuits filed by John Luckett; he’s also a wizard at litigation source
  • » Who’s John Luckett? Not someone you should know anything about, probably. He’s just filed lots of lawsuits – so many he can’t even sue in California anymore. Right now he’s trying to sue the Las Vegas-based Pinball Hall of Fame because he was told by police to stay away from it after he shoved an employee. He also claims he was thrown out because he was discriminated against for his “pinball wizardry” — that is, his ability to play for so long on only 50 cents. Something tells us that pinball wizards aren’t protected by the EEOC. (via Gawker)
Posted by Justin Jones • 0 Comments • Permalink

05 Jul 2011 09:57

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Offbeat: Major League Eating is an organization full of greedy people

  • 69 the number of hot dogs Takeru Kobayashi ate while Nathan’s Hot Dog Eating Contest went on yesterday
  • 68 the record at the event, set by one Joey Chestnut, Kobayashi’s mortal enemy, a few years back
  • 62 the number of hot dogs Chestnut ate during the event yesterday; he was declared the winner yet again source
  • » Why Kobayashi didn’t win: Simply put, he was competing several miles away from the Nathan’s event, at his own event. Last year, the dog-wolfer got into a very public battle with Major League Eating over the fact they wanted him to sign an exclusive contract to compete at the Nathan’s contest. He got arrested. This year, he let his dog-wolfing facilities do the work for him, and the organization wouldn’t recognize it because he wasn’t at Coney Island. A suggestion to Major League Eating: You aren’t Major League Baseball. You’re just assholes. You wouldn’t exist had Kobayashi not made your event what it was a decade ago.
Posted by Ernie Smith • 0 Comments • Permalink

28 Jun 2011 17:52

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Offbeat: Eguchi Aimi, fledging Japanese pop star, is computer generated

  • Somebody just lost their dream girl: We certainly wouldn’t fault any fans of Japanese pop group AKB48 if they’re feeling a bit sore or a bit duped. As the video above exposed last week, the sixth and newest member, Eguchi Aimi, doesn’t fit the job prerequisites for an “all-girl” band — she’s actually entirely computer generated. Her features were cobbled together from the faces of her flesh-and-blood partners — there’s something both cool and deeply disconcerting about this. source
Posted by Chris Tognotti • 0 Comments • Permalink

20 Jun 2011 22:38

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Offbeat: Scientists make beef substitute out of human feces

  • Every once in a while, we catch wind of a story so self-evidently absurd that it completely immunizes itself to satire. While we’d love to make a joke about the fact that scientists have now found a way to turn human feces into meat, there’s really no point. It’d be like doing an impression of Charlie Sheen and expecting it to be funnier than just watching an interview of Charlie Sheen. We will, however, note that the synthetic meat, which they tastefully refer to as a “turdburger,” is lower in fat than real beef. [hat-tip: io9] source
Posted by Seth Millstein • 0 Comments • Permalink

09 Jun 2011 03:06

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Offbeat: Someone had to do it, right?

Posted by Seth Millstein • 0 Comments • Permalink

04 Jun 2011 18:56

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Offbeat: Protip: Ghosts don’t like it when you have sex in graveyards

  • weird A woman visiting a deceased relative in a New Jersey cemetery used the opportunity to engage in some “extracurricular activities” with a friend of hers. We’ll let you fill in the plot holes here.
  • weirder Unfortunately for her, a grave marker fell on her during this process, injuring her and ensuring a cheesy B-movie will probably use this unfortunate(ly hilarious) incident as a plot device. source
Posted by Ernie Smith • 0 Comments • Permalink
 

04 Jun 2011 17:14

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Offbeat, U.S.: Homeowner revenge: Bank of America branch gets foreclosed

  • They’ve ignored our calls, ignored our letters, legally this is the next step to get my clients compensated.
  • Attorney Todd Allen • Describing the process he went through to get his clients their money back. That’s right, he foreclosed on the bank, forcing the bank to pay back attorney’s fees by padlocking the doors. Maurenn Nyergers and her husband, Florida residents who paid for their home in cash, received a false foreclosure request from Bank of America, forcing them to fight the charges in court. The homeowners won their case, but Bank of America didn’t pay the fees after five months, so (with a little help from the Sheriff’s Department), on went the padlocks and out went the computers, furniture and money from the tellers’ drawers. An hour later, the bank manager resolved it like that. Gotta love it. source
Posted by Ernie Smith • 0 Comments • Permalink

01 Jun 2011 20:50

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Offbeat: For sale: One balloon. Once used in infamous hoax. Boy not included.

  • The money from the winning bid goes to Japan. Buy it outright for $1 million. Want to help the people of Japan and own an insane piece of swag in one fell swoop? Get a hold of our boy Richard Heene, who is selling the balloon he falsely claimed his son Falcon was flying from. Now that the hoax is long-forgotten, the Heene family apparently wants to help out the people of Japan — so all net proceeds go to that. In case you’re wondering if this is a scam, the site where said balloon is being sold claims otherwise: “The winning bidder’s funds will go directly into the Trust Account of Attorney Perry H. Rausher of Calabasas, California. Mr. Rausher will then write a check to a selected charitable organization that is helping the Japanese cause. The Heene family will not receive anything from the sale.” Alright, who wants to start a Kickstarter project to turn this thing into a killer Flaming Lips stage prop? (via Cheat Sheet) source
Posted by Ernie Smith • 0 Comments • Permalink

20 May 2011 16:28

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Offbeat: Today in things you should be more careful about

  • Here’s an idea: Don’t pocket dial 911 when you’re in the middle of a drug deal. That’s what a man in Gainesville, Georgia did. He was working the late shift at a Waffle House and made a drug deal on the clock — which ended up being overheard by the 911 operator. An officer was dispatched, found the phone in the guy’s pocket, and realized he pocket dialed 911. Know what else the officer found in the guy’s pocket? Prescription pills. Yeah, he got charged with drug possession. source
Posted by Justin Jones • 0 Comments • Permalink
 
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