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21 Nov 2010 21:57

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U.S.: Thanks Candy Crowley: The no-waver TSA begins to waver

  • Ah boy … Here comes the backtrack. Just hours after their leader, John Pistole, embarrassed himself on CNN’s “State of the Union” by suggesting that feeling people up was OK (thanks to some very tough questioning by host Candy Crowley), the TSA released a statement suggesting that they may in fact bend their policies. “This has always been viewed as an evolving program that will be adapted as conditions warrant,” the statement said, “and we greatly appreciate the cooperation and understanding of the American people.” How far will they bend? How much will they adapt? We’ll find out in the next episode of “TSA Chief Goes on Television and Comes off Looking Like a Jackass.” source

21 Nov 2010 20:03

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Politics: Hillary Clinton’s endorsement of the TSA downright ringing

  • Not if I could avoid it. No. I mean, who would?
  • Secretary of State Hillary Clinton • Offering a ringing endorsement of the TSA’s new enhanced pat-down procedures by saying that she would avoid getting them if she could, but the measures are necessary to deal with terrorists “getting more creative about what they do to hide explosives in, you know, crazy things like underwear.” You wouldn’t like the procedures, Hillary? Tell that to the cancer survivor covered in his own urine by TSA workers. Seems like he probably feels the same way. source

21 Nov 2010 14:21

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Politics: Max Headroom: TSA’s John Pistole says they can touch your junk

  • We’re trying out a new format for Max Headroom this week. The old format was nice, but we think this mix, with larger videos, might be easier on your squinty eyes. Check it out, and let us know what you think. And also, let us know how much the video below pisses you off:

  • Twelve minutes of evasion: Could TSA Chief John Pistole be more useless? He spends the entirety of this interview trying to explain in the vaguest terms possible how his bureaucracy isn’t going to budge despite a huge public outcry. Have to say that this jerk is really ticking us off.
  • Meet the guy in question Airport security target John Tyner was recently on Lawrence O’Donnell’s MSNBC show with noted libertarian free-liberty magician dude Penn Jillette. Personally, we’re amused by the fact that MSNBC’s tile cards refer to Tyner as the “Don’t touch my junk guy,” which is freaking hilarious. We gained more from watching this than we did the Pistole video.
  • … and they say TV news is useless Perhaps the biggest fail of the entire week was that of the WGN newscasters who waited to see a bridge collapse for ages, only to pan away just as it was happening. While claiming it’s a metaphor for their effervescent morning show, it’s really a metaphor for the Sam Zellified Tribune Company, which was asleep at the wheel for their recent bankruptcy.

21 Nov 2010 11:38

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19 Nov 2010 10:29

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U.S.: TSA apparently realizes having pilots do full-body scans is stupid

  • We’ve had a number of very good discussions with pilots and hope to be announcing something very soon in terms of a good way forward for the pilots for that very reason, using a risk-based intelligence driven process.
  • Transportation Security Administration chief John Pistole • Revealing that the invasive full-body security measures, which have inexplicably been used on pilots EVEN THOUGH THEY COULD THEORETICALLY JUST CRASH THE PLANE BY FLYING VERY POORLY, could go away. Now, this doesn’t help normal passengers, who are forced to hear how the TSA is trying to change the conversation by suggesting that people’s desire to not go through the full-body scans are a “myth,” very much, but it’s a start. source

17 Nov 2010 10:13

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Politics: TSA validates feeling up American citizens to stop evil terrorism

  • If we have an individual who opts out of the advanced imaging technology, let’s say Abdulmutallab … had opted out, thinking [he’s] not going to receive a thorough pat-down so [he could] get on that flight, and if that had been successful on Christmas Day, I think we might be having a different dialogue this afternoon and in the public.
  • Transportation Security Administration chief (a.k.a. busywork creator) John Pistole • Explaining the rationale for doing the thorough security checks. Now, mind you, underwear bomber Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab was coming to the country from FREAKING NIGERIA AND AMSTERDAM and would not have been under the jurisdiction of the TSA until he got over American soil. So, again, why are TSA agents having to feel up regular people going on domestic flights? And how come the significant intelligence against Abdulmutallab didn’t stop him from getting on that plane? Intelligence almost nailed the guy. The TSA did nothing. source

15 Nov 2010 23:33

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U.S.: TSA to people they feel up: We need to do this, guys

  • Obviously, everybody has their own perspective about their personal screening. The question is, how do we best address those issues … while providing the best possible security?
  • TSA administrator John Pistole • Offering an explanation why the organization is being so hardcore about John “not my nuts, please” Tyner. We have an answer to your rhetorical question, John! It’s pretty straightforward: Focus your energy on improving intelligence and behavioral cues (which almost always catch the bad guys, anyway) and stop focusing so much on trying to cover every possible leak that goes through your scanners once. Security theater is just an act; John Tyner’s crotch is not a threat to national security. And pretending it is is a threat to national privacy, which is just as important.  source
 

12 Nov 2010 16:26

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U.S.: Protests growing against TSA’s ultra-invasive full-body scans

  • First off: Clever shirts, Despair. Second, are we finally reaching a point where regular people are starting to agree with our stance on the TSA? It appears that on November 24th, there’s going to be a protest against those super-invasive full-body scans. People will skip out on the process or not travel at all. That’s right, a TSA protest called “National Opt Out Day.” On the day before Thanksgiving, the busiest travel day of the entire year. Which is brilliant, but will piss off thousands of travelers in the process by making lines longer. Because the TSA is useless. source

06 Nov 2010 11:38

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U.S.: Waste of time: The TSA’s coming ban on printer ink cartridges

  • Let’s admit a basic fact here: If you’re a passenger carrying a printer ink or toner cartridge on a plane, you’re probably a terrorist. It’s such a weird thing to be carrying on a plane in the first place that we can feel safe in saying this. This will inconvenience nobody except printer and printer ink manufacturers. Even so, when the TSA bans this device, it’s going to be a huge waste of time, because now that al-Qaeda knows that the TSA knows about it, they’ll never use it again. This, friends, is called security theater and won’t actually keep anyone safe. source

20 Oct 2010 22:20

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U.S.: Pilot to TSA: I’m not getting in a full body scanner – and you suck

  • I just kind of had to ask myself ‘Where do I stand?’ I’m just not comfortable being physically manhandled by a federal security agent every time I go to work.
  • Expressjet Airlines pilot Michael Roberts • Explaining why he chose not to get in the full-body-scan machine on his way into work one day last week. This is kind of a bold stand to take, and it plays into the whole spiel that Gizmodo pushed around the time of the Underwear Bomber, which is that the Transportation Safety Administration offers the wrong kind of resources in the wrong place, and that stronger intelligence is better than forcing everyone to take off their shoes. Glad to see a pilot agrees. source