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22 Nov 2010 10:53

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Politics: TSA Chief John Pistole sounding meeker in each new TV appearance

  • There should never be a situation where that happens. The security officers are there to protect the traveling public. There are specific standard operating protocols which they are to follow.
  • TSA Chief John Pistole • In response to a situation that an ABC News employee went through in an airport yesterday, around the time that Pistole was embarrassing himself on CNN. Here’s what she said: “The woman who checked me reached her hands inside my underwear and felt her way around. It was basically worse than going to the gynecologist. It was embarrassing. It was demeaning. It was inappropriate.” So yeah, try to defend that, TSA Chief. You can’t. You’re in the middle of a PR nightmare. Enjoy. source

21 Nov 2010 21:57

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U.S.: Thanks Candy Crowley: The no-waver TSA begins to waver

  • Ah boy … Here comes the backtrack. Just hours after their leader, John Pistole, embarrassed himself on CNN’s “State of the Union” by suggesting that feeling people up was OK (thanks to some very tough questioning by host Candy Crowley), the TSA released a statement suggesting that they may in fact bend their policies. “This has always been viewed as an evolving program that will be adapted as conditions warrant,” the statement said, “and we greatly appreciate the cooperation and understanding of the American people.” How far will they bend? How much will they adapt? We’ll find out in the next episode of “TSA Chief Goes on Television and Comes off Looking Like a Jackass.” source

21 Nov 2010 14:21

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Politics: Max Headroom: TSA’s John Pistole says they can touch your junk

  • We’re trying out a new format for Max Headroom this week. The old format was nice, but we think this mix, with larger videos, might be easier on your squinty eyes. Check it out, and let us know what you think. And also, let us know how much the video below pisses you off:

  • Twelve minutes of evasion: Could TSA Chief John Pistole be more useless? He spends the entirety of this interview trying to explain in the vaguest terms possible how his bureaucracy isn’t going to budge despite a huge public outcry. Have to say that this jerk is really ticking us off.
  • Meet the guy in question Airport security target John Tyner was recently on Lawrence O’Donnell’s MSNBC show with noted libertarian free-liberty magician dude Penn Jillette. Personally, we’re amused by the fact that MSNBC’s tile cards refer to Tyner as the “Don’t touch my junk guy,” which is freaking hilarious. We gained more from watching this than we did the Pistole video.
  • … and they say TV news is useless Perhaps the biggest fail of the entire week was that of the WGN newscasters who waited to see a bridge collapse for ages, only to pan away just as it was happening. While claiming it’s a metaphor for their effervescent morning show, it’s really a metaphor for the Sam Zellified Tribune Company, which was asleep at the wheel for their recent bankruptcy.

17 Nov 2010 10:13

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Politics: TSA validates feeling up American citizens to stop evil terrorism

  • If we have an individual who opts out of the advanced imaging technology, let’s say Abdulmutallab … had opted out, thinking [he’s] not going to receive a thorough pat-down so [he could] get on that flight, and if that had been successful on Christmas Day, I think we might be having a different dialogue this afternoon and in the public.
  • Transportation Security Administration chief (a.k.a. busywork creator) John Pistole • Explaining the rationale for doing the thorough security checks. Now, mind you, underwear bomber Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab was coming to the country from FREAKING NIGERIA AND AMSTERDAM and would not have been under the jurisdiction of the TSA until he got over American soil. So, again, why are TSA agents having to feel up regular people going on domestic flights? And how come the significant intelligence against Abdulmutallab didn’t stop him from getting on that plane? Intelligence almost nailed the guy. The TSA did nothing. source

15 Nov 2010 23:33

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U.S.: TSA to people they feel up: We need to do this, guys

  • Obviously, everybody has their own perspective about their personal screening. The question is, how do we best address those issues … while providing the best possible security?
  • TSA administrator John Pistole • Offering an explanation why the organization is being so hardcore about John “not my nuts, please” Tyner. We have an answer to your rhetorical question, John! It’s pretty straightforward: Focus your energy on improving intelligence and behavioral cues (which almost always catch the bad guys, anyway) and stop focusing so much on trying to cover every possible leak that goes through your scanners once. Security theater is just an act; John Tyner’s crotch is not a threat to national security. And pretending it is is a threat to national privacy, which is just as important.  source