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Posted on December 21, 2010 | tags


Politics: Dear Internet: We need a Salad Bar Security Administration, stat

  • So, CBS is reporting that a recent terror threat involved the poisoning of food. Here’s how it would’ve worked. First, the terror suspects would go to salad bars or buffets out in the open at hotels and restaurants and put poison (ricin and cyanide) in the food. Then, a bunch of people would get sick. Then they’d die. Next thing you know? Full-body scanners every time you go to Golden Corral, meaning that every time you just have to grab another rib from that delicious buffet of theirs, all the while avoiding the trailer trash you’re slumming with, you’ll have to put your fork and knife in little baggies. And then your plate will have to be sanitized with a crazy machine. The federal government will need to hire millions of people to ensure our ranch dressing is safe. And the unemployment rate will drop. And we’ll all be safe. Until that is, the terrorists start fucking with our air. Then, friends, we’re all dead. (Photo by jacobms, complete with bacon cameo.) source
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