Tech: Meet Ardi, the superhyped, really old human-type thingy
Hey bros, I'm Ardi. I live in a cave or something. I'm really, really old. I'm like prehistoric. A bunch of scientists just found me and freaked the (#^(^! out. Here are a couple quick facts about me:
4.4 million
my age, give or take a few years; I'm holding the exact date close to my chest
Vampire Weekend
my favorite band; I want to go see them live after they reincarnate me. That's why they decided to reveal me to the press, right? Right? SOURCE