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04 Apr 2011 23:26

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Offbeat: Don’t bring a knife to a gunfight; instead, bring a screwdriver

  • plan In Sarasota, Florida, a man armed with a handgun walked into a gas station and told the clerk to empty the register. A fool-proof plan!
  • problem The would-be thief fled before taking any cash when the clerk brandished …a screwdriver. Talk about calling someone’s bluff. source

04 Apr 2011 23:12

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Politics: Chuck Schumer okay with Tea Party-pandering as long as budget passes

  • We take it for granted that because of the intense political pressure being applied by the Tea Party, [John Boehner] needs to play an outside game as well as an inside game. As long as he continues to negotiate, it’s OK by us if he needs to strike a different pose publicly. Since last week, the two sides have made steady progress on a package of $33 billion in cuts.
  • Democratic Sen. Chuck Schumer • Calling out John Boehner, who’s insisting that no deal has been reached with the Democrats, and that $33 billion in cuts just isn’t enough. Who’s fibbing? We’ll find out by Friday, when either a budget will pass, or the government will shut down. source

04 Apr 2011 22:51

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Politics: Scott Walker: Wisconsin is broke, but if your dad supports my campaign, you won’t be!

  • who Meet Brian Deschane, a 27 year-old from Wisconsin with no college degree, little political experience, and two drunk-driving convictions.
  • what Deschane earns $81,000 a year working a plum job for controversial Wisconsin Gov. Scott Walker, overseeing various regulatory and environmental matters.
  • why Deschane’s father is a lobbyist for the Wisconsin Builder’s Association, which gave over $120,000 to Walker’s election campaign. source
  • » After just two months on the job, Deschane received a raise of 25%, or $16,500 a year. This wasn’t too long ago; it was around the time Walker said that Wisconsin was “broke,” and has “been broke for years.” If that’s what it’s like to be broke, we don’t wanna be rich!

04 Apr 2011 22:07

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World: Libyan rebels: NATO forces falling short of expectations

  • There’s a delay in reacting and lack of response to what’s going on on the ground, and many civilians have died and [NATO] couldn’t react to protect them.
  • Ali al-Essawi, foreign policy director of the National Transitional Council • On how things have been going since NATO took control of the no-fly zone. source

04 Apr 2011 21:59

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Culture: Sheen’s live show improves in Chicago after disastrous opening

  • detroit The premier of Charlie Sheen’s one-man show did not go well. After, amongst other things, setting fire to a shirt and insulting the city in which he was performing, Sheen was booed off the stage.
  • chicago Sheen shook things up the show’s second night, opting for a talk show-esque format instead of…well, whatever the hell it was he did the first night. Apparently it worked; this time, Sheen received a standing ovation. source

04 Apr 2011 16:12

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Politics: Democrats pledge to filibuster anti-Planned Parenthood amendment

  • 41 Senators want to retain public funds for Planned Parenthood source
  • » Why this number matters: Forty-one is the magic number of senators needed to mount a filibuster and, in doing so, block a bill’s passage. Harry Reid has already stated that the anti-Planned Parenthood amendment passed by the House of Representatives won’t be included in the final legislation; however, with this group this size backing him up, Reid’s words now carry much more weight. Interestingly, while the Gang of 41, as someone will undoubtedly refer to them sooner or later, is composed entirely of Democratic-aligned senators, three Republicans have also voiced opposition to stripping Planned Parenthood of federal funds. This will undoubtedly complicated budget negotiations going forward, but we’re nonetheless heartened to see this many senators stepping up to defend such a vital national service. Here’s to hoping they remain intact.

04 Apr 2011 15:52

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Politics: 2012: Are Pawlenty’s over-the-top campaign ads working?

  • The same day President Obama announced his reelection campaign, GOP hopeful Tim Pawlenty put out another Bruckheimer-esque ad for his own 2012 run at the White House. This has all the charming affectations we’ve come to expect from Pawlenty’s ad shop, which is attempting (transparently, though not unwisely) to paint T-Paw as a more exciting candidate than he’s generally thought to be. We actually think Pawlenty is running a pretty smart campaign, despite the superficially goofy feel of these ads. Whereas nobody took his campaign seriously at its outset, some beltway types are now coalescing around the notion of Pawlenty as the wisest, or at least most plausible, choice for the GOP in 2012. Of course, winning over voters in New Hampshire is a different story entirely. source
 

04 Apr 2011 15:25

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Politics, U.S.: Jon Huntsman prefers the Foo Fighters to smoking weed

  • Very few [Mormons] straddled in between, but Jon was very good at being in between– he was faithful to his faith from everything I can see– but he also would go out and hang with guys, and maybe not partake in things… I never saw him inhale.
  • Eric Malmquist, former bass player for “Wizard” • Talking about his memories of then bandmate Jon Huntsman. Huntsman was the keyboard player for the band, of which there are sadly no known recordings. Supposedly, long after they had broken up and each gone their separate ways, former drummer Howard Sharp got a page on his medical beeper, as he’d turned to a career in medicine years before. When he hurriedly returned the call, it was Huntsman on the line: “It’s not a medical emergency but it’s a rock and roll emergency. The Foo Fighters are coming to town and we have got to get tickets.” We admit, we like Huntsman a bit more after hearing this, his glaring misuse of an emergency medical pager notwithstanding.  source

04 Apr 2011 14:03

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World: TEPCO begins draining radioactive water, tries to find major leak

  • lesser evil TEPCO has begun releasing thousands of tons of radioactive water into the ocean, freeing up space to store the much more dangerously radioactive water they now have to contend with, a release of which would be much worse.
  • square one Dye was used to determine the location of a leak of highly contaminated water, which TEPCO has fought for days. They didn’t see it in the ocean outside, meaning the leak is not where they’d been trying to plug the past couple days. source

04 Apr 2011 13:42

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World: Kazahkstan’s incumbent President decimates opposition

  • 95% of the vote for Kazakhstan’s President Nazarbayev source
  • » An electoral red flag: International elections monitors are crying foul over what took place in Kazakhstan yesterday, as incumbent President Nursultan Nazarbayev (who’s been in power since the 1980s) soared to this startling vote tally. It’s being reported (albeit from an unnamed source) that students were threatened with expulsion if they didn’t head to the polls. We’re reminded of a point about show elections made by Christopher Hitchens; why do these leaders always desire such a staggering percentage of the vote? It all but screams a corrupt, undemocratic, strong-armed process- the leaders in question could lay much more claim to credibility if they tried to manipulate themselves to, say, a 55-45 win instead.