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05 Jan 2011 23:25

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Politics: Dear Obama: We’re everything you need in a press secretary

  • Look, now that Robert Gibbs is leaving you must be taking resumes or something. And before we go about submitting an application to the Obama/Biden beast (and spending hours upon hours updating our resume), we thought it might help to explain what you’d be getting if the ShortFormBlog staff took over the work of Mr. Professional himself, Robert “Obama’s bulldog” Gibbs. We can’t expect to be everything for you that he was, but we do have a lot of unique qualifications, including:
  • We like complaining! We notice that your administration doesn’t know when to complain about the right’s withering attacks on your character, on your policies, on your place of birth, on how ugly Bo is, on how much money Michelle spent on that trip to Spain, etc., etc. … God, can you give us a break? This job is really hard and we’re trying to save you from yourselves!
  • Blurby Press releases The Obama administration has had many PR innovations in its first two years in office – an open-source Web backend, a hugely-popular Twitter account, an entertaining Flickr account … but you’re missing something. You need press releases with giant numbers, profanity and myriad obscure pop-culture references. We can offer that.
  • The press will be putty Look … between CNN, Fox News, NBC, the other networks … they’ll all ask really tough questions and we’ll evade them by using the Socratic method. Sample dialogue: Them – “Why was Obama golfing during the oil spill?” Us – “Why do you care? You’re annoying and nobody watches your channel anyway, CNN.” Yeah, we’re good.
  • » So, what do you say, brah? We’re available to work immediately, and your organization could use someone like us. We’d make things interesting, because we know how drab the White House gets when there’s no change. We can be that change you promised, Barack.

05 Jan 2011 22:36

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Politics: Robert Gibbs: My leaving the White House useful for Obama

  • The best service I can provide this president is, for the next couple of years, outside this building.
  • Obama Press Secretary Robert Gibbs • Explaining his reasoning for leaving the warm confines of the White House. Essentially, he won’t be working for Obama inside of the press room, but on the public circuit, where he can show off his feisty nature a bit more freely. It says a lot about Obama’s presidency that two of his top three first-term guys in the White House will still play major roles in his second term – even if it’s not inside the stoic walls of the White House itself. His lead confidantes are mostly loyal. source

05 Jan 2011 10:26

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Politics: Sigh: Robert Gibbs stepping down as Obama’s press secretary

  • You know, we like Robert Gibbs. Endlessly entertaining, more willing to make waves than any other recent press secretary, and a great fit for Obama. He’s feisty where Obama is measured. He isn’t a mouthpiece. He’s a contributor and played a huge role in Obama’s first two years. And that’s why, even though he’s leaving as press secretary in February, he’s still likely to play a role in Obama’s future campaigns. We salute you, Robert Gibbs. You make Scott McClellan look like the straight-up mouthpiece he was. source

29 Dec 2010 20:48

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Politics: Sarah Palin’s gubernatorial e-mails still haven’t been released

  • 14 separate delays on the release of Palin’s official e-mails as Alaska governor
  • 10/08the initial date of the first request for e-mails (made during her vice presidential campaign)
  • 05/11the expected date of the e-mails’ final release – why did this take so long, anyway? source

28 Dec 2010 09:56

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Politics: Alvin Greene’s running for office again – this time, more modestly

  • Filing closes (noon Monday), and until that time, someone could pull out or change their mind. People wanting to know more should wait until next week. That’s all I’ve got to say right now.
  • South Carolina joke candidate Alvin Greene • Regarding his apparent decision to run for an open South Carolina state House seat, which opened up after state Rep. Cathy Harvin died earlier this month. In case you’re wondering, the filing fee is a tad cheaper than the $10,500 he paid for his Senate run – a modest $165. So, even though he’s still throwing away money, he has a slightly more realistic chance at winning this time around. But like he said, someone could pull out or change their mind. (thanks Larry Crider) source

26 Dec 2010 23:36

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Politics: Max Headroom: Tom Coburn explains his beef with spending

  • In recent weeks, Tommy Boy Coburn has been making his hack-slash budget views very known. In the last couple weeks, his meddling has even led to the omnibus spending bill (which would’ve, among other things, paid for health care) getting pushed back. He’s been putting attention on earmarks and other major factors, so when Coburn showed up on Fox News Sunday today, it’s obvious what he was there for. He wanted to get his two cents in on wasteful spending. Here’s the key part (which we skipped ahead for), where he talks about redundancy. Is he right? Is the redundancy what’s killing us? And why did Tom Coburn grow a beard, anyway, guys?
  • A little out of breath Poor Martin Savidge. Beyond the fact that he was working at CNN on Christmas Day (the worst of the worst shifts, by the way), he appears to have leapt into his chair almost too quickly, completely unable to keep up with his lines We can’t judge. We’d blow this, too.
  • Hockey confuses Rachel Maddow It’s the holidays; even Rachel Maddow is allowed to let the seriousness fade away for a few days and take it easy. So, she has a question … what the heck is this waffle-throwing phenomenon with the Toronto Maple Leafs? And why does she need to care?

26 Dec 2010 11:55

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Politics: Democrats could kill (or fix) the filibuster with simple majority

  • obvious Democrats, having had a solid two years of hell as a result of the filibuster giving the minority party insane leverage over every major decision, have had enough, and want rules to change so that things can actually get done.
  • ironic On the first day of a Senate session, a simple majority is needed to change rules – such as the filibuster. Which means they could kill (or significantly change) the filibuster without fear of it getting filibustered. source
  • » Two proposals: Sens. Tom Udall (D-N.M.) and Jeff Merkley (D-Ore.) are the guys fighting for the changes hardest. Udall and Merkley, both first-termers, have different ideas about how to handle the change. Udall wants rotating changes based on weaknesses that show up in the system after each session. Merkley wants to bring the rules in line with what the country expects of a filibuster – only allowing them on complete bills and out in the open. (Thanks Samuel Rubenfeld)
 

21 Dec 2010 21:04

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Politics: Yo Obama: Congress just gave you another triangulation opportunity

  • Remember how in 1995 when the government shut down? Well, guess what we just set ourselves up for in March? See, as a stopgap to avoid a massive omnibus spending bill from getting through the pipe with a crapload of earmarks, Congress agreed to set up a temporary spending bill that gets us into late Winter. (Obama should sign it before he heads off to Hawaii to be with the fam.) Which means that if Obama and the GOP are at one another’s throats come the Ides of March, the government could shut down 1995-style. Or Obama could switch parties and weird everybody out. Et tu, Brute? source

20 Dec 2010 20:22

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U.S.: Which states stand to gain (and lose) the most from redistricting?

  • With a fresh Census coming out tomorrow, we all know what you’re worried about. That’s right, where are all the seats in the House gonna move? There’s 435 of them, and people don’t stay stationary their entire lives. So, who benefits this time around? Well, if we could put it into two words: The GOP. People in general are moving into areas that have long been Republican strongholds, while moving away from traditionally Democratic Rust Belt states. “The hands that are on the [computer] mouse will be much more Republican hands, presumably crafting much more Republican seats,” said Election Data Services president Kindall Brace, who put that better than we ever could. Anyway, you want specifics, so here are some specifics:
  • winners Texas is the big winner, and Florida and Arizona should also get multiple seats, too. Nearly every state in the South minus hurricane-ravaged Louisiana wins out. So does the Pacific Northwest.
  • losers States with legacy industrial centers in the Midwest, particularly Ohio (which will likely lose two seats) and Michigan. East-coasters lose out too, particularly New York and Massachusetts. source

18 Dec 2010 11:53

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U.S.: DREAM Act falters, DADT repeal gets past debate in Senate

  • 55-41 the Senate wasn’t really into the DREAM Act
  • 63-33 however, they can back a DADT repeal (WHOO) source