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03 Mar 2011 11:25

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Biz: Workplace productivity goes up. We suggest it goes back down.

  • 2.6% jump in productivity levels in the recent quarter source
  • » Suggestion for the workforce at large: Be less productive. It will encourage employers to hire more people if they can’t get done what they need to get done with the people they have. And as a result, the unemployment rate will go down because these greedy bastards won’t be able to use their profit picture to screw over millions of unemployed people who can’t find work. You bastards need to stop working so hard. Clock out half an hour early one day for no reason. Sit at your desk and reload Tumblr repeatedly. Blow a deadline. Make yourself not so much replaceable, but appendable. You need an assistant, right? Right? (Note, since people are taking this post seriously: This is “A Modest Proposal,” a Swiftian joke.)

17 Nov 2010 10:23

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World: A modest proposal: Give ShortFormBlog Ireland’s bailout money

  • Hey, if Ireland doesn’t want any of this bailout money, give it to us. For days now, the European Union – and now Britain proper – have been pushing to give Ireland lots of money to ensure its solvency. However, Ireland doesn’t seem to have any interest in taking it, at least right now. So, we’d like to offer a proposal to the European Union. Give us the bailout money. We’d use the money to build our own country (tentatively titled ShortLandia) where we’d build an army of coffee shops and have dozens of bloggers working away, producing short content for the masses of other countries throughout the world. It’d be communism. Except in content farm form. And instead of eating soviet bread, we’d be drinking ShortLandia lattes. With an extra kick. So you don’t fall asleep and prevent another piece of content from hitting the Intersphere. source