This song is like seven minutes long. It’s like they couldn’t fit all the celebrities that wanted to help in a three-minute tune so they just made it longer and added lots of breakdowns. Including creepy appearances by a deceased Michael Jackson, who we’re sure would be helping if he were still alive (since he co-wrote the song). But that said, however misguided, it doesn’t mean you shouldn’t help Haiti. So donate. Anyway, our recap of the video:
» Best moment: Lil’ Wayne busting out the autotune because he can’t sing at all. There was a rap breakdown, man. Why didn’t you bust out a couple of rhymes on that?
» Second best moment: Wyclef Jean throwing some vitality into that second chorus. He’s pretty much the most welcome voice on the whole production.
» Second worst moment: Teen super-heartthrob Justin Bieber singing the intro like a 12-year-old girl. Downright awful replacement for Lionel Richie.
» Worst moment: The rap breakdown, which we’re sure wasn’t in the original version. It wasn’t necessary for any other reason but to get more people on the record.
» Oddest celebrity cameo: Barbara Streisand, who barely – just barely – took this mantle from Tony Bennett. She was simply a downright strange choice.